Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
