Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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