Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
