They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
