Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
birth control should be required to get into college
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
