Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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