hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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