I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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