Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Who died my cat blue again?
The Olympian is in my bed
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
