im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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