Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just had sex on a roof
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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