Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
