The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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