real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
