anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
