I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
