Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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