Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
