i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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