so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
