real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
