i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
