i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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