...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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