What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
