He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
