C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
