I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
