just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
