I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
