I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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