doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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