i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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