Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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