i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
