Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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