we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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