girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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