I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
