I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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