names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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