he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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