He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Holy sore nipples Batman
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
