Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
