Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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