do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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