Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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