and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You're like the curious george of whores
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
