what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
