oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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