we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
