guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
